Be your own light, because we all have our own blooming season.
A friend once asked me what I was like when I had depression —
because I always looked so happy on the outside.
But back then, I was in the darkest place.
It felt like there was light at the end of the tunnel,
but the harder I tried to reach it, the more unreachable it felt —
like I could never walk out of it.
Back then, the thought of dying came to me often.
There wasn’t really a reason.
I just felt like I was a terrible, useless person —
and I desperately wanted to bury myself away.
I stopped trying to convince myself that I wasn’t awful.
Instead, I allowed myself to see —
that I still have the ability to live,
even if I’m living in a messy, broken way.
Because being sick is being sick —
No matter how much I tell myself “I’m fine,”
I’m not fine.
But I also didn’t have the courage to die.
I’ve always hated phrases like
“Believe in the goodness of the world.”
They sound beautiful,
but they feel fake — almost nauseating.
They stir up feelings easily,
yet quickly become empty clichés.
Who really can say those words and mean them with weight?
“Don’t care what others think” —
Everyone says that, another cliché.
But are we supposed to live arrogantly, ignoring everyone’s existence?
Or live in insecurity, believing we shouldn’t exist?
In this era, everyone is rushing forward.
It seems like whoever runs the fastest gets closest to happiness.
And we all forget why we even started.
Everyone wants to be the bright, shining light in others’ eyes —
but that standard of “brightness” has never been fair.
Honestly,
I don’t think the most beautiful thing is a fully bloomed rose.
I prefer those fleeting moments
when the petals are starting to fall.
In a world so vast,
everyone can be special — and ordinary.
Some seemingly insignificant people or things
can become someone else’s light.
May we all wait together
for the season when our flowers bloom. 🤍🥀
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